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VOTE: for the next King of the Backyard!

Even without the barrage of reminders on various social media outlets about election day, it should be pretty clear by now that it’s finally time to vote. This morning I did my civic duty and voted, and this is Javier’s last election as a non-citizen. Next time around he’ll be able to vote too! My presidential pick isn’t much of a mystery, but in case you didn’t notice, that’s my favorite throwback Obama shirt from 2008! Debido a la avalancha de rcordatorios en las redes sociales sobre las elecciones de hoy, tiene que ser muy claro que hoy es FINALMENTE dia de votar.  Esta manana cumpli mi derecho civico y vote, y esta es la ultima eleccion de Javier sin ser ciudadano. La proxima vez el podra votar tambien! Mi eleccion presidencial no es un misterio, pero en caso que no lo notaron, esta es mi polera favorita de Obama del 2008!
The point of this post is not, however, to wax poetic about my political choices or about your duty to vote (but if you are an American citizen, I really really hope you voted, regardless of your pick). No, the point of this post is far more important: we need to pick the new king of the backyard! Up to this point Chupete has been the uncontested fearless leader of the backyard, but now it’s time for you all to take part in this historic election (of a king, no less! This is a democratically-elected doggo monarchy…because King of the backyard sounds way better than President of the backyard). Here are their platforms: El punto de este post no es ponernos politicos y discutir de las elecciones o sobre como deberian todos votar (pero si eres un ciudadano/a americano/a, en verdad tienen que ir a votar, sin importar su candidato). No, el punto de este post es aun mas importante: necesitamos elegir a el rey del patio! En este momento Chupete no ha tenido competencia como lider del patio, pero es tiempo que USTEDES! sean parte de esta eleccion historica (de un rey, nada mas ni nada menos! Esta es una monarquia perruna elegida democraticamente…porque Rey del patio suena mucho mejor que Presidente del patio!) Estas son las plataformas politicas:

Chupete

  • Chupi promises to keep the backyard turf exactly as it is –  no patios, no fake grass!
  • dig baby dig! That’s right- Chupi will expand the territory for hole-digging around and under the dog houses and will abolish all regulations for squirrel hunting
  • Chupi also promises that any dog in the backyard will be allowed to share one big stick!
  • Chupi will demand the Rodriguez congress to allow doggos full and unlimited access to the backyard with no time restrictions
  • Chupi promete mantener el pasto del patio tal como esta – sin cemento, sin pasto artificial!
  • escaba, escaba! Eso es – Chupete expandira el territorio disponible para escabar alrededor y bajo las casas de perro y hara desaparecer todas las regulaciones contra caza de ardillas.
  • Chupi tambien promete que cualquier perro que visite el patio podra compartir una rama giante!
  • Chupi le demandara al congreso de los Rodriguez que permitan a los perros acceso ilimitado al patio sin restricciones de horario

Choripan

  • Chori intends to protect the dog houses and keep the houses as they are. Instead, his digging plan involves expanding digging territory around the big tree!
  • Chori wants to increase squirrel hunting regulation so there will still be squirrels left to watch and chase
  • Chori promises to provide little sticks to everyone so everyone can have their own instead of having to play tug-of-war
  • Chori’s demand to the Rodriguez congress is to allow doggos full and unlimited access to the house interior, especially on cold and rainy days
  • Chori pretende proteger las casa de los perros y mantenerlas como estan. A su vez, su plan de escabado incluye agrandar el territorio permitido para escabar al rededor del gran arbol!
  • Chori quiere incrementar las regulaciones de caza de ardillas asi podran haber mas ardillas para observar y perseguir
  • Chori promete proveer ramas pequenas para todos asi todos pueden tener su propio palo en vez de tener que jugar a los tironeos
  • Las demandas de Chori al congreso de los Rodriguez es que se le permita a los perros acceso total e ilimitado al interior de la casa, especialmente en dias frios y/o lluviosos.
Help us decide who will be the next democratically-elected king of the backyard! Cast your ballot for Chupi or Chori today! Ayudennos a decidir quien sera el proximo Rey del Patio escogido democraticamente! Voten por Chupi o Chori hoy!
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15 thoughts on “VOTE: for the next King of the Backyard! Leave a comment

  1. At this critical juncture in the Los Rodriguez backyard, we face many challenges. Challenges that the current king has not addressed. When doggos want access to the house interior, this king has focused on the outdoors. Rather than making sure every doggo has a stick of their own, he wants us all to share one big stick. Worst of all, the Chupete administration has focused all its digging efforts around the dog houses, when there is perfectly viable digging territory by the big tree! That’s why I vote Choripan: warm houses, sticks, and new digging frontiers for every doggo!

    This message is paid for by the “Choripan would Totally make an Awesome King of the Los Rodriguez Backyard” Super PAC and is not endorsed or funded by any candidate.

  2. I vote for Chupi. Stick-sharing is a crucial social policy. And Chori’s policies will likely promote a lazy and overly pampered (entitled) dog workforce. “I’m the doggo grand-dog and I approve this message.”

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